Day 2, Athens: Lessons From Athenian Nightlife

1.) Young Greek people adhere to the “Jersey Shore” school of sartorialism.

1a.) See also: obscene sunglasses, tight white pants on both sexes, greasy hair, impeccably well-landscaped eyebrows, and hideous paisley “going out” shirts.

1b.) However, the scruffiness and rectilinearity of men’s faces peg them as European, as opposed to vulgar Italian-American faces still bearing the copious subcutaneous fat of infancy.

1c.) Greeks don’t know what “fake tanner” means. Although, some women might meet diagnostic criteria for “tanorexia”.

2.) A culture of intraday napping means “evening” starts around midnight.

3.) Yum Brands (an American fast-food conglomerate) did a killer job of creating a hip image.

3a.) KFC and Pizza Hut are sit-down affairs, and some of the most attractive Athenians could be found chowing down on foods for which Americans’ enjoyment/craving is usually closeted, or excusable only in the presence of one’s own children.

3b.) McDonald’s, like North Korea, is viewed as a vaguely-hostile pariah state.

4.) Heineken tastes orders of magnitude better in Europe and is best served at 33 degrees Fahrenheit by the €2.75 500 ml bottle.

4a.) Heineken + {Horiatiki salad: tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, feta cheese, oregano, olive oil} + lamb chops eaten with hands + sitting down for dinner at 0030h = cheap dinner + free watermelon => Victory.


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